Rules for life

This post is the first in an occasional series introducing you to my Rules for Life.

It crossed my mind while talking to the Boy last night that I live my life according to a set of very clear but hitherto unwritten rules. I'm going to ease you in gently with a few of the most crucial, and over the next few weeks I'll introduce the others as the occasion demands. Some of them will seem obvious and some more obscure, but trust me: they're all there for a good reason.

Almost a Lady's rules for life (part the first)

1. Always keep at least one bottle of emergency champagne in the fridge. When the emergency comes, a single bottle is unlikely to resolve it without moral support.
2. Try to maintain the semblance of good manners at all times: rude people are appallingly dull. If forced into close quarters with one, don't panic. Restrain yourself to a frosty smile, be unfailingly polite, and leave them with the impression that you were faintly bored with everything they said.
3. If you're over 25 think very, very carefully before you put on that miniskirt. It's not just about whether you can wear it; it's whether you should. You're an adult now and you have a responsibility to the public welfare.
4. If you must lie, lie outrageously. It's more fun for everyone that way.

There are plenty more; after all, it's a complicated world, and there are lots of traps for the unwary 20something to fall into. Armed with these four starter rules you are at least prepared for most of the dramas the week may bring - and if it all goes t*ts up there's always the Veuve to fall back on.

God bless the Widow.