Who are you?

Personal identity is a funny thing.

Start with a few of the people you know. How many of them pop up in your head as "James the lawyer", "Pete and Lauren", or "Maya, she's always up for a few drinks"?

Each one of those labels categorises the person (or people) involved by a single aspect, reflecting only one part of the moods, characteristics, behaviours and attitudes that make them a whole. You know Maya's a laugh on a night out and she's always the person you call if you want a great evening, so that's how you tend to think of her. Now you think about it, the last time you introduced her to a friend you even said "this is Maya, you know, I've told you the stories!"

Of course you also know that Maya is also a fan of Shakespeare and long walks, works in a vet and wants to be a political campaigner; the new person, however, does not. Thus, Maya-the-party-girl becomes her persona to that new person. And my first question to you is this: if enough people think of her that way, will she eventually start to believe it too?

Now think about yourself. How do people introduce you? Are you the journalist, the accountant, the husband/wife/partner of Jim-who-you-met-earlier? And how do you introduce yourself? What's your answer to the inevitable "so who are you?"

Most of my friends would identify themselves by their jobs. "I'm Kate, I'm a lobbyist." A few of the newly-weds identify themselves by their spouse - "Oh, I'm Chris, that's my wife over there" - and it's always interesting to see what the first thing that comes to someone's mind will be.

But when you're asked that question, do you always answer the same way? Is there one aspect of you that's more important than the rest, or are you a mix of different characters depending on your mood and the circumstance? And is that response something you defined for yourself, or something that was defined by those around you? Do other people's expectations govern your behaviour? Does their reaction make you, on some level, live up to what they expect?

So many questions, so little time. Who is this person you've chosen to present? Is it a persona you put on to meet the world, or is it something the world has put on you? And if you take it away... what's left behind?

Most people I've put this to say that it shouldn't be a difficult question, that personal identity is more complex than that and "who I am" hangs on more than one or two delicate threads. But for a lot of people I think that primary or dominant persona can become such an important piece of the puzzle, governing how people react to them, what they do, who they meet and how they spend their time, that if you take it away it does leave behind a vacuum – a space that needs to be filled by something else lest self doubt roll in to fill up the gaps.

So is it dangerous to identify yourself too strongly with a single piece of your personal jigsaw? I suppose it depends on the person concerned. (We’ve all seen Spiderman, right?)

It’s not too much of struggle for me though. Who am I? ... I’m Almost a Lady :)