PR genius?

Ashley Highfield leaves the BBC for Kangaroo - only a week after kicking the bandwidth debate firmly back into the front pages of the national media. Nice moves, my friend, whether they're yours or the BBC's quick thinking PR team.

But enough of this sordid gossip! Let us return to our usual highbrow tone: ladies and gentlemen, I present for your delight and edification the latest of the essential Rules for Life. This was in fact one of the first Rules ever to be set in stone, but I think it bears repeating. Oh, how I'd love to say that this little gem isn't based on real life experience!... but sadly, that would be a lie.

It comes in three parts, so pay attention, girls. You really can't afford to miss this.

6a. If you must wear the ill-advised minidress you bought in your teens, avoid at all costs sitting on the ground.
6b. If you have no choice but to sit on the ground, do at least try to keep your knees together.
6c. If you really, really must sprawl on the grass, for heavens' sake get a bikini wax.

Alas, the memory alone brings a tear to my eye.