No country for old men

Hey, internet community. Yes, you lot. I've got a bone to pick with you.

For months now you've been telling me how amazing No Country For Old Men is. You've raved about the plot ("amazing"), the villain ("terrifying") and the acting ("standout"). And yet when I finally sat down to watch it this weekend, what did I find? Nothing but a long and pointless film with half a plot and a lot of self-indulgence. As for the acting - well, it was fine, if entirely swamped by the deadly mantle of what-is-the-point-of-this-interminable-movie that enveloped me after the first 45 minutes.

What a waste of Tommy Lee Jones!

At first I actually defended the film from the Boy, who had it pegged as a waste of time from the start (or, in his more diplomatic terms, "not all that gripping") but when it ended abruptly at what I thought must surely be the midpoint I had to give up. I mean, really, is this a masterpiece of modern cinema? Compared to LA Confidential? Lost in Translation? Hell, people, Little Miss Sunshine?

To me, no. It was the pale and bloodless (in all senses except, of course, the literal) echo of someone's good idea. And are you really telling me that dropping the soundtrack is enough to make a film Oscar-worthy?

But enough ranting. Let it suffice to say that on balance, I rate this film some way below Hellboy 2, which I saw the following night, and from which I escaped only by chewing off my own arm and beating the usher to death.

'Nuff said?