Hormonally yours

Can you tell me why PMS is so bad? Really? Every single headache-inducing, broken-nighted time?

For me the bar-none worst bit has got to be the mood swings. Sunday/Monday was doubtless not improved by a lack of sleep out in gay Amsterdam (of which more later), but a bit of tiredness neither warrants nor excuses the split-second transition from homicidal rage to "someone ran over my cat" wobbly lower lip and tear-filled eyes.

Nor does it help knowing what's going on. You may well be able look at your grey-faced reflection in the PC screen and tell it that you know it's only hormones making you want to beat the postman to death with the photocopier toner cartridge - but it doesn't stop you wanting to do it.

The best solution I've found for when the Crazy descends is to consume vast quantities of chocolate as quickly as possible and let the endorphins do their thing. I'm told that to actually get any kind of high from chocolate you'd have to eat more than twice your body weight or something equally ridiculous - still, I'm prepared to give it a go. But surely there must be a better way to deal with it? Last week we recreated the Big Bang - can we not sort out PMS next?

Now I come to think of it, the Emergency Chocolate stashed in my desk drawer was actually provided by a forward-thinking colleague who sits next to me... perhaps my inner emotional turmoil isn't quite as discreet as I'd hoped.